My Go-Girl Overfloweth
Have you ever heard of a Go-Girl? Well, if you're a girl and have ever had the harebrained desire to pee while standing up - run to the nearest State Fair and snatch one up (that's where mine came from). Or, you could go to the Go-Girl website and purchase one (they are reuseable but if that grosses you out, there's a discount for bulk orders).
I'm not ashamed to admit that I considered buying one of these for myself but in actuality, mine was a birthday gift from two girlfriends at work. I turned 30 this past September and a few of us went out for a happy hour after work one day to celebrate. While having a few beers and some tacos at a local Mexican joint, we discussed the new and interesting things at the Minnesota State Fair that year. One of the new items for sale was flying off the booth shelves - the Go Girl. We told all kinds of hilarious bathroom jokes about the Go-Girl (easy fodder, come on). The next day, my friends dropped a little Go-Girl canister at my desk and wished me a happy birthday. After all the joking around about it the night before, I couldn't wait to use it and report back. I tossed the little thing into my purse and promptly forgot about it. I thought about it a few times over the past several months but never remembered to actually pull it out and give 'er a test run. For some reason, this Monday, I decided in the spur of the moment to try the Go-Girl out. I had just run in the door from picking Max up at preschool, dropping him off at daycare, and racing home to finish working before heading back to daycare to pick the kids up.
I don't know about other moms out there but ever since having kids, taking the time to use the bathroom has become a low priority on my list of things to do. It just sounds like so much work to have to get up, walk to the bathroom, prepare my lower half (either pulling down pants, shimmying up a skirt, or wrangling myself out of nylons, or a combination thereof), relieve myself, clean myself up, redress myself, wash my hands, and get back to what I was doing. Thus, I often wait until my need is absolutely urgent before I finally give in. In terms of the use of a Go-Girl, this was a big mistake.
Also, I neglected to read the suggestions for use on the website before lettin' 'er rip. "Try it a few times at home to master your technique so you’ll know what to expect and feel more confident when you need GoGirl on the go. Don’t get discouraged if you dribble (DRIBBLE?! How about stream copious amounts of pee down the backs of your legs?!) the first time or two. With a little practice GoGirl will work perfectly every time." If I'd read that disclaimer first, I would have completely removed my underwear and jeans from the vicinity, rather than dropping them to my ankles (which I'm sure was a fascinating picture had anyone been a fly on the wall). I also would not have stood directly over my lovely, fluffy-ish, pale green bath rug. I would have had some baby wipes on hand to swab down the backs of my legs with, rather than having to do a preliminary swab with toilet paper before mincing down the hallway to the boys' room to retrieve some wipes (it was 3:30 in the afternoon and I had to work, I was not going to shower or bathe!).
I did wash my Go-Girl out, set her out to dry (praying the kids didn't find it and ask what on earth is that THING?!), rolled 'er back up and got the FUD back in the canister for more practice another time.
"Simply put, GoGirl is the way to stand up to crowded, disgusting, distant or non-existent bathrooms. It’s a female urination device (sometimes called a FUD) that allows you to pee while standing up. It’s neat. It’s discreet. It’s hygienic."
I'm not ashamed to admit that I considered buying one of these for myself but in actuality, mine was a birthday gift from two girlfriends at work. I turned 30 this past September and a few of us went out for a happy hour after work one day to celebrate. While having a few beers and some tacos at a local Mexican joint, we discussed the new and interesting things at the Minnesota State Fair that year. One of the new items for sale was flying off the booth shelves - the Go Girl. We told all kinds of hilarious bathroom jokes about the Go-Girl (easy fodder, come on). The next day, my friends dropped a little Go-Girl canister at my desk and wished me a happy birthday. After all the joking around about it the night before, I couldn't wait to use it and report back. I tossed the little thing into my purse and promptly forgot about it. I thought about it a few times over the past several months but never remembered to actually pull it out and give 'er a test run. For some reason, this Monday, I decided in the spur of the moment to try the Go-Girl out. I had just run in the door from picking Max up at preschool, dropping him off at daycare, and racing home to finish working before heading back to daycare to pick the kids up.
I don't know about other moms out there but ever since having kids, taking the time to use the bathroom has become a low priority on my list of things to do. It just sounds like so much work to have to get up, walk to the bathroom, prepare my lower half (either pulling down pants, shimmying up a skirt, or wrangling myself out of nylons, or a combination thereof), relieve myself, clean myself up, redress myself, wash my hands, and get back to what I was doing. Thus, I often wait until my need is absolutely urgent before I finally give in. In terms of the use of a Go-Girl, this was a big mistake.
Also, I neglected to read the suggestions for use on the website before lettin' 'er rip. "Try it a few times at home to master your technique so you’ll know what to expect and feel more confident when you need GoGirl on the go. Don’t get discouraged if you dribble (DRIBBLE?! How about stream copious amounts of pee down the backs of your legs?!) the first time or two. With a little practice GoGirl will work perfectly every time." If I'd read that disclaimer first, I would have completely removed my underwear and jeans from the vicinity, rather than dropping them to my ankles (which I'm sure was a fascinating picture had anyone been a fly on the wall). I also would not have stood directly over my lovely, fluffy-ish, pale green bath rug. I would have had some baby wipes on hand to swab down the backs of my legs with, rather than having to do a preliminary swab with toilet paper before mincing down the hallway to the boys' room to retrieve some wipes (it was 3:30 in the afternoon and I had to work, I was not going to shower or bathe!).
I did wash my Go-Girl out, set her out to dry (praying the kids didn't find it and ask what on earth is that THING?!), rolled 'er back up and got the FUD back in the canister for more practice another time.
Comments
Words fail me. And, for some reason, I'm blushing... :)