Is this it? Alternately titled, "Loosening the apron strings"
In less than one week, it will be July. In less than two and a half months, my eldest will be launched into the "world". Though Max will "only" be attending half-day Kindergarten (vs. full day) starting this fall, I have been alternately deliciously anticipating and fretfully dreading this transition.
On the one hand, I lapped up every minute of school (there were certainly things about school that were stressful and not enjoyable but I can honestly say I don't remember EVER waking up and truly thinking I didn't want to go to school that day) and am hoping that my children will love the experience as much as I did. I can't wait to watch their worlds' expand as they learn new things and interact with new people.
On the other hand, I didn't realize I would only have this short amount of time to be my babies' whole world. Up 'til now, I've gotten to be the majority of the influence in their lives. Yes, they attend daycare and go to Sunday school and preschool and have been involved in activities but I have chosen those things for them. From now on, Max (and soon after, Ryann and shortly thereafter, Adam) will be choosing their own friends, will be influenced by teachers that are randomly assigned to them, will willingly and with my knowledge get into a large, yellow vehicle driven by a stranger, not wear a seatbelt, and roll miles away from me to enter a building and engage in full days of activities that I may never know about (at our house, "What did you do today?" often elicits the rejoinder, "I don't know...nothing..."). There have been moments where I've thought about quitting and homeschooling my children but a. we need two incomes to survive b. I know that I don't have the mental where-with-all to parent the younger kids, teach the older one, hold down the house, cook, clean, and maintain my own time without having to be committed to an institute and c. I truly do believe that loosening the apron strings and allowing my children to experience life outside of our home is a privilege and a blessing I don't want them to miss out on. The world can be a scary and intimidating place and, alternately, is so full of wonderful and amazing things/people/places/sights/knowledge/sounds/experiences/tastes/feelings - God truly gave us a wonderful gift to get to live on this earth. In the grand scheme of things, we only get to be here for a short amount of time. I was blessed to be able to bring three new people into this world and it's my job to help them grow into good, well-balanced, mature, self-sufficient adults. Now if only I can reconcile this smart, clear-headed thinking with my churning emotions, we'll be good to go.
On the one hand, I lapped up every minute of school (there were certainly things about school that were stressful and not enjoyable but I can honestly say I don't remember EVER waking up and truly thinking I didn't want to go to school that day) and am hoping that my children will love the experience as much as I did. I can't wait to watch their worlds' expand as they learn new things and interact with new people.
On the other hand, I didn't realize I would only have this short amount of time to be my babies' whole world. Up 'til now, I've gotten to be the majority of the influence in their lives. Yes, they attend daycare and go to Sunday school and preschool and have been involved in activities but I have chosen those things for them. From now on, Max (and soon after, Ryann and shortly thereafter, Adam) will be choosing their own friends, will be influenced by teachers that are randomly assigned to them, will willingly and with my knowledge get into a large, yellow vehicle driven by a stranger, not wear a seatbelt, and roll miles away from me to enter a building and engage in full days of activities that I may never know about (at our house, "What did you do today?" often elicits the rejoinder, "I don't know...nothing..."). There have been moments where I've thought about quitting and homeschooling my children but a. we need two incomes to survive b. I know that I don't have the mental where-with-all to parent the younger kids, teach the older one, hold down the house, cook, clean, and maintain my own time without having to be committed to an institute and c. I truly do believe that loosening the apron strings and allowing my children to experience life outside of our home is a privilege and a blessing I don't want them to miss out on. The world can be a scary and intimidating place and, alternately, is so full of wonderful and amazing things/people/places/sights/knowledge/sounds/experiences/tastes/feelings - God truly gave us a wonderful gift to get to live on this earth. In the grand scheme of things, we only get to be here for a short amount of time. I was blessed to be able to bring three new people into this world and it's my job to help them grow into good, well-balanced, mature, self-sufficient adults. Now if only I can reconcile this smart, clear-headed thinking with my churning emotions, we'll be good to go.
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