Character flaw? Or just a "character"?
I've been doing some quiet soul searching today. Onlookers at work probably didn't even know anything other than work was on my mind today. But there was. I was thinking all day, in the back of my mind, about some feedback that I've gotten from those closest to me several times over the past few years. I was told for probably the 100th time this morning that I am suspected of being a "change/excitement junkie".
In review, in the past 30 years of my life I've:
1. Been born
2. Grown up
3. Graduated high school with only one car accident to my name (and that one was a triple rollover!) and having worked three different jobs
4. Attended and graduated college without getting into too much trouble and having worked two different jobs concurrently
5. Got a "real" job
6. Bought a house
7. Bought a puppy
8. Got married
9. Got a promotion
10. Got another job which was another promotion
11. Went to Las Vegas
12. Traveled to Yellowstone National Park
13. Had a baby
14. Had another baby
15. Graduated from a car to a minivan
16. Went to Las Vegas again
17. Had another baby
18. In between numbers 11 and 14 (and ongoing) updated and redecorated nearly our entire house
Since we moved to our house, I have constantly been scanning real estate to see if our "dream house" may still be out there. I love dogs and sometimes search on petfinder.org just to "see" if there might be a cool puppy out there that, if the time were right, we could adopt. I have admitted to my husband and family and friends that even though I swore that three babies would be enough for me, I sometimes desperately want to have more children. This is not a biological option for my husband and I anymore. I often question my career choice and think (not very seriously) about going back to school to be a nurse or a doctor or a teacher. Or starting my own business. Or writing a book.
As a result of the above, I have been labeled a "change/excitement" junkie. I have been accused of not being content to just rest and appreciate what I have been blessed with.
Maybe they're right. I have been doing some self-reflection and have some praying to do because there is a part of me that rebels against this label. What's wrong with dreaming? What's wrong with striving for more? It is those kinds of people who are held up as examples to those who are complacent. But maybe I desire the wrong "things". Maybe it's because a lot of what I desire are "things". Maybe I'm dreaming about the wrong "stuff". Maybe I need to focus my energy on dreaming of being a better wife and a better mother and a better coworker and friend and a better worker for my company. So, as I said, I have more soul searching and praying to do. Maybe, now that I'm 30, it's time I grow up and leave childish dreaming behind and ground myself in reality.
In review, in the past 30 years of my life I've:
1. Been born
2. Grown up
3. Graduated high school with only one car accident to my name (and that one was a triple rollover!) and having worked three different jobs
4. Attended and graduated college without getting into too much trouble and having worked two different jobs concurrently
5. Got a "real" job
6. Bought a house
7. Bought a puppy
8. Got married
9. Got a promotion
10. Got another job which was another promotion
11. Went to Las Vegas
12. Traveled to Yellowstone National Park
13. Had a baby
14. Had another baby
15. Graduated from a car to a minivan
16. Went to Las Vegas again
17. Had another baby
18. In between numbers 11 and 14 (and ongoing) updated and redecorated nearly our entire house
Since we moved to our house, I have constantly been scanning real estate to see if our "dream house" may still be out there. I love dogs and sometimes search on petfinder.org just to "see" if there might be a cool puppy out there that, if the time were right, we could adopt. I have admitted to my husband and family and friends that even though I swore that three babies would be enough for me, I sometimes desperately want to have more children. This is not a biological option for my husband and I anymore. I often question my career choice and think (not very seriously) about going back to school to be a nurse or a doctor or a teacher. Or starting my own business. Or writing a book.
As a result of the above, I have been labeled a "change/excitement" junkie. I have been accused of not being content to just rest and appreciate what I have been blessed with.
Maybe they're right. I have been doing some self-reflection and have some praying to do because there is a part of me that rebels against this label. What's wrong with dreaming? What's wrong with striving for more? It is those kinds of people who are held up as examples to those who are complacent. But maybe I desire the wrong "things". Maybe it's because a lot of what I desire are "things". Maybe I'm dreaming about the wrong "stuff". Maybe I need to focus my energy on dreaming of being a better wife and a better mother and a better coworker and friend and a better worker for my company. So, as I said, I have more soul searching and praying to do. Maybe, now that I'm 30, it's time I grow up and leave childish dreaming behind and ground myself in reality.
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